I am not a shaman, I don't have any Native American heritage, nor Celtic blood flowing through my veins. I am a simple (well perhaps not so simple…) woman, a city witch, born and raised in suburbia, despite my love of nature. Yet throughout my life, I seemed to have this affinity with animals. They seemed attracted to me, and I them. We seem to "speak" to each other, outside of words or any verbal language. I don't make any claims, or have any knowledge or insight deeper than anyone else - just a lust for knowing and understanding the world around me. And one of my quests has been the animal world, and how they live.
Many cultures are much closer to the animal kingdom than modern "civilized" society. Certainly some farmers live closer to the land and our animal brethren than most, but for the most part, other than a few pets, and an occasional wild bird, insect, or rodent, we live a life free of animals. Perhaps then, it is no wonder that a resurgence of interest in animal totems has surfaced, especially in the "new age", Wiccan, and other earth based spiritual followings. I am no exception.
I've read through a few websites and books that cover totems, and each author has their own interpretation. I, of course, have mine own as well. To me, an animal totem is a guide, a teacher, a spiritual companion, an animal who one identifies with and through, or perhaps an animal one wants to be more like. I've always believed that totems come to us, that we don't choose a totem, but there are varying views on this.
I've come to know three totem animals in my life so far. Some claim that everyone has some specific number of totem animals, but I believe we each have as many as we need, and they come when we need them, and they leave when they've taught us all they can. Though perhaps some may stay with us our whole lives, into the next.
The first totem that came to me was butterfly. I was quite young at the time, and didn't realize the significance. She stayed by me though, and even though I didn't understand why, she was always by my side. My second totem came to me during college. Spider was also always there, and I came to learn from her even then. But still, I hadn't realized the depth of her importance. I watched her weave her web, and wait patiently for her food, while she and her sisters kept my apartment free of pests, like mosquitoes and flies. I never tore down her webs, and enjoyed her presence. And slowly absorbed her lessons. Again, it wasn't until recently, when I began my studies in Wicca, that those lessons were really appreciated or understood.
My most recent totem came just recently. I was standing outside at work, on a cigarette break, when bee started buzzing around me. I am deathly afraid of bees for some reason, even though I've never been stung in 45 years. Yet for some reason, I fear them. Some say that if we fear an animal, we also fear the lesson they might offer, and this was the case with bee. I had found that bees always were attracted to me - and as I fretfully walked away from them, they would follow. All different kinds, from yellow jackets to bumble bees to carpenter bees to wasps. That one day, I realized as I thought of a bee's life, what lessons she was trying to teach me.
Bees live with organization, each has their duty to the whole, and they keep busy. I had realized that I'd been putting off some important paper work, and bee reminded me that I'd better get to it. She also reminded me of my responsibilities at work, from which I'd also been drifting. Her lessons were clear, and I got to work. Perhaps she'll come again at some point, when again I drift away, or lose focus.
Butterfly taught me change, and how important change is, especially in my life. She also taught me to fly free, unfettered by the views of society. And she taught me that in fragility, lies beauty - that strength comes in many guises.
Some seek out their totems, and I don't have too much to say of this. Since mine came to me, I have no experience or knowledge of how one would seek one out. Though some have suggested meditation, oracle decks, and other methods to find ones totem. But I will say that my totems have helped me enormously, and without them, I would have been lost, in many areas.
useful links:
http://ladyinblack.com/animals/index.html
http://geocities.com/sphinxmuse/totems.html
http://www.geocities.com/RainForest/4076/index1.html
http://www.cybercomm.net/~grandpa/animals.html
let me know your thoughts...
luv and light,
nexy
visit nexy's cocoon at:
http://members.aol.com/nexyjo/spirit/index.htm
